The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Operation Purity has been aborted
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
