you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
