Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
