Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
