you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize