I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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