I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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