adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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