i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
My life is pants optional.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
