Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
