You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
