I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
