She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
