hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
