Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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