i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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