...so i touched it.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize