why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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