I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
