I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
