I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
