sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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