After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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