I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
