1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I need to calm my uterus...
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