He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
