..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
