Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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