I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
