oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
