Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
