I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
