I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
my poor anus
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize