Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He? As in you personified your dick?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
