it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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