You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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