Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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