I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
