Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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