i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize