the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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