So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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