Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
and she was petting her beer can
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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