quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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