I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize