How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
