is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
