Her vagina should come with caution tape.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
