Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
