I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
