dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize