Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
did i walk over a car last night?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
