She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
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