fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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