a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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