community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
