I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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