I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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