Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
