Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
