She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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