Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
