I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize
