Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
either way he was missing a nipple.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
